Tao-Te-Chi - The Mystery Of Right and Wrong
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Each and every one of us knows that it means to have a sense of Right and Wrong, do we not? After all we can all tell what is proper to do in our society and what is not. We all have this universal standard by which we live so we can ensure that there is no conflict or gray area. Well… if that was all true how come we have such a hard time determining and defining what is Right and Wrong in the world around us?
In our society we are automatically expected to have a fully developed sense of Right and Wrong as soon as we reach adulthood. In many cases we are even expected to have this all in place by the time we reach our mid-teens. Yet when we look around we see a great number of people struggling with what is right and what is not. We have Morals, Ethics, Requirements and Commitments that far too often seem to conflict. There must be a reason for this conflict, it has to exist!
The problem with this all is that just because we are expected to have something does not mean that we do. Everyone makes the assumption that we have a defined and realistic view of Right and Wrong. Yet, realistically how can we when we live in a world of double standards and hypocrisy? Every day all around us we see people doing things that we define as Wrong and can do nothing about it. We see many people doing what they feel is Right without comment, reward or acknowledgement. Everything working together to add more confusion to an otherwise already confusing system.
The biggest reason behind all of this is that we as a society or people do not really know what Right and Wrong really mean. In some cultures women are subjugated and controlled… yet to that culture it is Right to do so. In other cultures when someone becomes an "Adult" they are expected to fend for themselves… also seen as Right. We even have people that believe in order to live a productive life they must sacrifice their very souls for money and wealth… which they also consider to be Right. How can something be Right for one person when it is so very Wrong for another?
That is the real problem that we face when learning to deal with a true sense of Right and Wrong; how can it be right for one and not others? The reality is that Right and Wrong is not based on truth, honesty and integrity… it is based on Perception and Programming.
What this means is that we as young children got indoctrinated into the sense of Right and Wrong by the occurrences of our lives. If someone was told it was okay to walk all over women, then they were programmed to view that as Right. When someone got in trouble for putting their elbows on the table at supper, then that was programmed as Wrong. Each and every occurrence in our lives add definition to this ever growing list of what is acceptable and what is not. All based entirely upon the Perception and Programming of those who taught it all to us.
This does not mean that it is our Parents fault we have this system… far from it! In truth most of our ideals of Right and Wrong do not come from them; they come from society as a whole. In today's "Mass Media Culture" we get to see first hand the ideas of Right and Wrong held by all of society in a flash. Of course the reality is that the individual ideas of Right and Wrong we see are not society based, but marketing or programming designed to make you buy a product or see things in a predetermined way.
We get our pre-programmed ideas of Right and Wrong from everything we see and do. That means that when we see it is okay that a Police Officer shoot and kill the Bad Guys in the movie we just watched… then it is Right for Police to do that in real life. If we see that our best friend does drugs and they seem happy and productive, then this too makes it Right to do drugs. All of these things adding up over the course of a lifetime to create and define our sense of Right and Wrong… how can we hope to unravel it all in a world that does this?
Then of course, to further complicate all of this, we get to factor in Morals, Morality and Ethics. I know that for a great number of people Morals are things you learn in Church. However that is not really accurate! What you learn in Church are generally called "Fear Based Morals"; the reason being that they are based entirely on the fear of punishment. If you are afraid that God will strike you down when you molest a child… good incentive not to do it!
The thing that people forget about Fear Based Morals is that when you forget to be afraid, you also forget to have morals. This means that when we get put into a situation that punishment simply is not a factor then we are on our own. This is really why so many "Church Going" people can be so kind and caring on Sunday, yet totally the opposite any other time of the week. The important thing to understand in this however is that it is not their fault either… it is all part of their programming.
So by this time I hope you have begun to realize that most of what we call Right and Wrong is really a program running inside our heads. It is not based on facts, requirements or even reality… merely the occurrences and events of our own individual lives. The important thing to note is that we do not have to live with the programming if we do not want to… there are other options!
One of the biggest options available to us is to re-program everything. We actually have the power to completely redefine our sense of Right and Wrong by redefining what we believe to be Right and Wrong. This is not a quick or easy process, however we do have the power, capability and potential to make it all happen. We of course also have the option of choosing to keep our pre-programmed ideals and walk away from it all too. In truth we have the ability to do whatever we want in this particular situation.
However, as this is about learning how to do something about our sense of Right and Wrong we, from this point on, will be looking at how to fix it all.
Let us begin by revisiting Morals and seeing what we can do with them. The truth of the matter is that there is really a second type of Morals… "Heart Felt Morals". These are a lot harder to deal with and define because they require emotions as part of their makeup. However the advantage to them is that they are real and honest. They do not go away when they become inconvenient to have around. They too are a program if we want to be honest; the difference being that they are a proper program and one that we control more directly.
The reality is that most things in our lives are programs. It would be a total waste of time to stop the programs from running as we would stop ourselves from functioning. The key to them is not to remove them, but to rewrite them as we want them to be. When we can make the programs work for us then we are in control of them; instead of the other way around.
With Morals all we have to do is program ourselves to work hard to better define and explain them in our own lives. This can be as simple as telling ourselves that putting our elbows on the table is rude because it is the social standard I wish to live by… it is a sign of respect to myself, my family or my guests. This then no longer needs to be about punishment… now it is about honesty and choice.
The same can be true for everything else that we deal with. When it comes to drugs, as we already used this example, we can be honest and admit we do not want to do drugs because we see them as okay to do. What we really want is to have the life of the person we see doing them. We feel that if we can be the same as them then we will get the same rewards as them. Now we can admit the fact that we either want to do drugs because we do not like or lives, or we can decide we simply do not want to do drugs at all. Again the control becomes ours, instead of us being controlled by the idea.
Everything to do with Morals is controllable and alterable in this way. We can choose to do it because we are afraid of being punished if we do not, or we can do it because we want to… or not do it too if that is what we want. This has a tendency to not only give us power over our own lives, it actually adds value to the things we choose to do. As an example if we go to church because we feel it is required, then we go out of duty. Not a whole lot of reward and good feelings connected to duty. However if we go to church to feel closer to God, then we are now doing it for ourselves. All of a sudden we get a great deal of pride and satisfaction simply from going to church to connect to God.
The reason behind why we do something is actually more important than what we actually do. Mostly this is true because the thing we do directly can be a total lie or misdirection of the truth. Whereas the reason behind why we do it can only be what it is. We of course can lie to ourselves about it, however that does not change it… it only makes it so we do not see it.
This also can be carried over to Right and Wrong as well. We can choose to define what is Right and Wrong based on our programming or we can do it based on our Hearts. When we learn to listen to our inner-selves then we can see how we really feel about something. If in our hearts it is Wrong to go to Church then we can take a moment to look at why and redefine it. If it is Wrong because we know we are telling lies to ourselves about going, then all we have to do is tell ourselves the truth and it becomes Right. When we decide for ourselves what is Right and Wrong then we get to define it and also alter it as required.
This is a powerful tool for most people and opens up a great many doors in life. It is important to understand that we are not looking to crush everything, merely redefine it. If we stop going to church because in our Hearts we know it to be Wrong, then we really have missed out. We end up losing something important because we do not go further with it. Just because it is Wrong right now, does not mean we can not make it Right.
That really is the fundamental key to all of this. To first see where something really and honesty sits in our lives so we can decide where we really want it to sit. If we want something to be Wrong that is now Right, we can look and see what makes it Right for now. We may discover when we do this that it is really Right and needs to remain that way. This simply means that our perception of it was slightly off. We may also decide that it is really very Wrong and can then make the shift to either get rid of it from our lives, or redefine it to make it really Right.
This may all seem a lot to deal with and absorb. However it really is fairly simple. What we need to do is open our Hearts to each and every situation as they happen. We need to evaluate them and decide for ourselves if they are Right, Wrong or Indifferent. If they do not match what we currently believe, then we need to explore them a little. At which point we can begin to Remove, Alter or Redefine them as needed.
For most people the truly hardest part in all of this is learning to trust in our Hearts. Not so much because it is a hard thing to do, more so because it is also a program we suffer with. Most of us have been conditioned about what we call "Listening To Our Own Hearts" and do not know any other way to do it. This is not really a problem, merely something that needs to be fixed and corrected.
There is really a very simple and easy way to tell if we are listening to our own hearts or following our internal programming. If we follow our programs it feels empty and hollow, it feel like it is outside of ourselves. It also usually feels like it is beyond our control; at least in the beginning… which is where all of you should be currently. As we do more to gain control of those programs then that will change. Of course when we follow our Hearts, it feels full and complete; though usually in a slightly abstract way. It also feels like it is well… coming from our Hearts.
There is only one complication to this and that if we do not look close enough our Minds can mimic our Hearts. This means that if we simply take a quick look and walk away that our Minds can make us think it is our Hearts talking to us. After all it is the Mind that processes all this information and it can alter it as it wants too… also part of its own pre-programming.
This means that to be able to learn to listen to our own hearts, so we can decide for ourselves what is Right and Wrong, we need to put in some time and effort. Only when we take the time to look a little deeper and explore a little further can we separate out what our Mind is telling us and what our Heart is. This is really the basis for Self Exploration and is vital if we want to gain control over our own lives.
It is not as hard as most people think… simply stop and look a little closer at what comes when you deal with anything. Do not accept the fastest response… delve deeper and see if it is real or not. Not only will this help you to gain control of your own unique sense of Right and Wrong; it will also help you to learn more about yourself. This in the long run will take you a great deal further than simply redefining what is Right and Wrong in your life. You will likely find yourself in a place where you can honestly say that you Love yourself without restrictions.
That is the amazing thing about taking control of our lives… we get to love who and what we are; We no longer need to be afraid or ashamed of ourselves. This means we WIN!
Copyright April 2005
ISBN 0-9739566-5-8
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